Top 10 lists will be a list of 10 movies that will be published once a week and will either have to do with a movie coming out that week or just what I want to do at the time.
This week’s top 10 list will actually be a bottom 10 in honor of Ted 2 coming out, since I hated the first one. They will be in decreasing order with number 1 being the worst. To be fair, I only included movies I’ve seen.
10. Cabin in the Woods
-I watched this movie hearing it was a good horror movie which is hard to find these days. What I got is… I have no idea what I got. I don’t know what this movie was but I do know it wasn’t scary and it was really boring.
9. Hangover 2
-It’s like the first one. Except it’s in Thailand. And not funny. And just terrible overall.
8. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
-The best adventure franchise of all time complete with… aliens, cgi monkeys, surviving nuclear blasts in refrigerators, and Shia Labeouf as Indiana Jones’ son? No thanks.
7. Transformers Revenge of the Fallen
-Speaking of Shia Labeouf there is this terrible sequel. This spot could also go to the fourth Transformers but at least that one had Mark Wahlberg and (briefly) robotic dinosaurs.
6. Star Wars: Attack of the Clones
-There are no redeeming qualities about this movie. It’s got a terrible forced romance, little story, and confusing battles full of way too much obvious CGI. The Phantom Menace could go here as well but it at least has the awesome lightsaber duel at the end. Also, I was afraid of what Liam Neeson might do to me if I put him on the list.
5. Taken 2
-I had to put him on here anyway so hopefully he doesn’t see this (not sure why he would). But this movie is terrible. I mean his daughter throws grenades off a building in the middle of a city, suddenly can drive like Richard Petty after failing her driving test when the plot calls for it to be necessary, and Liam Neeson somehow gets a tiny phone up to his ear from his shoe while tied up. That’s only the beginning of it in this ridiculous, terrible movie.
4. Batman and Robin
-Thank God they figured out how to make good superhero movies. This movie is bad enough to have killed them all.
-I absolutely hate this movie. I know people love it but the humor was stupid and full of pot and fart jokes and I barely laughed the whole time, which is bad for a movie whose object is to get you to laugh. I definitely won’t be seeing the sequel this weekend.
2. 50 Shades of Grey
-Oh boy. Laughable dialogue, terrible acting, and even worse chemistry. Not to mention the downright abusive relationship that is being supported all over the world for reasons I’ll never understand.
1. A Good Day to Die Hard
-Ok, so it’s probably not actually the worst movie on here but it deserves this spot for ruining the franchise my favorite movie (and most people’s best action movie ever) started. The acting, the chemistry, the plot, the action. It’s all just brutally awful.
Honorable mentions: Jaws 3 and 4, Dumb and Dumber, The Colony, most horror sequels and remakes