Well when you review movies and decide to go arbitrarily see whatever is playing sometimes you end up seeing stuff like this- a movie length commercial for Audis and terrible CGI.
Hitman Agent 47 is about… well I’m still not quite sure. The movie doesn’t make any sense at all and has one of the most convoluted plots I’ve seen in a while. I know there is a hitman (Rupert Friend) with superhuman abilities who is trying to protect a girl who is looking for her father. Her father happens to be the one who started the program to genetically design the hitmen “agents”. The whole time, all three are hunted by the Syndicate (not the one from Mission Impossible 5), led by Zachary Quinto (Spock in the newest Star Trek movies).
Like I said, the movie doesn’t make any sense. There is not a whole lot of good in this movie at all. Some of the action sequences are decent and are entertaining to watch while they are happening (even though you never know why exactly they are happening). But even those, for the most part, are poorly edited with a bunch of quick cuts and some really, really bad effects. You are immediately thrown into the movie without a clue what is going on. There is a brief expositional narration at the beginning that tries to explain things, but it is confusing and is probably more hurtful than helpful. And the plot isn’t even the worst part. That would be the dialogue. There are things people say that I couldn’t even believe the actors went along with. So much of it is bad and just stupid. It’s not quite 50 Shades of Grey bad but it’s pretty close. Speaking of actors, Rupert Friend (of Homeland fame) is fine but not great (more having to do with the dialogue than his actual performance). Everyone else, on the other hand, is terrible. Quinto basically whispers the whole movie and you can’t understand a word he says. I could go on and on but this thing is just bad.
This is a reboot/remake of the Hitman movie made in 2007. That movie is not good by any stretch but it at least made a little sense and had some entertainment value. This had very little of that and is bad by all accounts. If you are a fan of the video game franchise (I’ve personally never played them and don’t know if that affects my opinion one way or another) you might enjoy this a little more. But catch it on cable or Redbox later on; there is no need to rush out and see it in theaters. Hitman Agent 47 gets a 1.5/5 (Comparison Score: Hitman (2007)- 2.5/5).
If you’ve seen it, let me know what you thought in the comments.